Celebrity Gist Gist

Robert Pattinson Almost Jerked Off A Dog – HEYOO!

Hollywood is a magical place. A place where fantasy becomes reality and dreams come true. It’s also a place where you can’t turn a corner without walking onto someone’s film set and possibly finding Robert Pattinson giving a pupper a red rocket. Funny, he hates werewolves, but loves dogs…

In a recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel, Pattinson describes one scene from his upcoming movie Good Time where he was asked to jerk off a dog. He didn’t go through with it though, because he’s clearly not a committed professional.

“There’s this one scene, which we shot, which basically, there’s a drug dealer who busts into the room and I was sleeping with the dog and basically giving the dog a hand job…

I asked the trainer, ’cause the director was like, ‘Just do it for real, man! Don’t be a pussy!’ And then the dog’s owner was like, ‘Well, he’s a breeder, I mean, you can.’ He’s like, ‘You gotta massage the inside of his thighs.’”

C’mon Rob! Do your job! If the script calls for you to shove a garden hose in your ass and siphon tapioca pudding into your pooper, you get out there and make it happen!

After refusing to get handsy with the hound, they apparently went with a stunt cock instead of having Rob do the real deed. If this was anyone else other than Robert Pattinson, they would have some fat old white guy calling them up in their trailer in a “YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!” fit of rage. They should have went with Dustin Diamond instead of this unprofessional hack – THAT guy will do anything for $25 and a 6″ turkey sub.

Since we’re talking about jerking off dogs now, let’s go ahead and toss this picture of Phoebe Price up. Seems like a better time than any.

Phoebe Price

Ah, classe!